The Bold Look of Koler

Like the faucets... and my name... get it? The clever things I come up with at such a young age.  Now.  I'm thinking of signing on with a modeling agency.  I've had some inquiries about it.  So- I've been working on a few signature looks.  Maybe I'll start with a calendar.  Beiber-Fever might be catching.  Yeah!  Catching the first train out of here.  Watch out!

"Broiler"

"Magnum"

"Petit-Dejeuner Des Champions"

"Cha-Cha"

"Ferrari"

"Besame"

"Golden Swan II"

"Erised"

"Blue Steel"

"Quit Taking My  Picture, Mom.  You're Stealing My Soul" TM

"Rogue Rain"

"Le Tigre"

I'll sign autographs as soon as I know how to write.  And respond to the sound of my own name.
Peace!

I Called The Witch Doctor

Today I went to the doctor and boy did I knock 'em dead.
My stats were on the charts for the first time. 
Weight: 23 pounds 12 ounces (98%)
Height:  28 3/4 inches (92%)
Head:  18 1/4 inches (93%)
They said I am heading towards the curve.  Not sky-rocketing anymore.  Now I am just regular Kole Giant Baby not Kole GIGANTOR Baby Extreme.  You can see I am out of the 99 percentile. In FACT (!) I lost one pound.  I'm still a pudgy boy with rolls, wrinkles, and flubber to spare.  But there is one whole pound less of it now.  I was at 24 pounds 8 oz. and now I'm at 23 pounds 12 oz.  Nothing to sneeze at.  (PS- I don't get that expression.  Am I supposed to sneeze at meager details?  Someone explain this to me before I really enter society.)
My doctor really swooned over me.  He said I had beautifully colored skin.  And it is allllll naturallll baby!  Let see.... what else did he say. (drumming my fingers) He said that I am a fantastic eater and lots of babies wouldn't eat as much as I do.  I eat 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 3.5-4.5 ounces of baby food.  Per sitting.  Mom was worried that she was sending me straight to OverEaters Anonymous- but Dr. Hatch assured her (and I) that I was getting just the right amount.  He said I can guide mom as to how much to feed me.  Did you hear that?  I guide mom.  If I want more?  I just open my mouth and mom is supposed to give me more.  Feels good to be in charge.  Well-(little secret) I've always been in charge it's just nice to have someone verify this.
My doctor also said that I was dealt a bad hand with my sinuses.  It's the stock I was bred from.  It is simply something I must cope with.  And I cope pretty well.  Mom is the one that is always worried.  I do just fine.  It sounds like I am really laboring to breathe- but a little congestion is not a biggie for me.
The shots weren't so bad.  I had the good nurse.  Lori.  She's fast and efficient and gives cool band-aids.  The actual injection doesn't hurt me.  It's one little poke.  I'm MegaBaby and I can handle it.  It's nothing.  I drank their little health elixir got one shot in the left and two on the right. It was nothing. I confess the second shot on the right stung a little.  Okay, it burned.  Alright, alright I screamed so loud the windows were rattling.  I just wasn't expecting it!  Mom was right there- how could something bad happen with mom right there.  I screamed and turned bright red and shot tears out of my eyes as fast as they would come.  Mom picked me up and I was fine.  I did keep a keen eye on Ms. Lori after that.  All smiley and sweet.  Boy was THAT a show.

So I cried a little after my shots.  Whattayagonna do about it?

I don't mind going to good doctor's office at all.  I get to sit around in my diaper and have people coo over me.  The doctor said I am very coordinated for a baby my age. He also said I am very smart and charming, dependable, cooperative, energetic, ambitious, friendly, an over-achiever, most likely to succeed.  Hehehe.  Okay I made up everything after smart.  But come one.  It's true wouldn't you say?  Grampa Poulsen says I'm "Coo-tastic."  I think we all would agree there.

Dad's Crib.

On Sunday I took a gerrr-ate nap right after church.  Like 2 hours.  When I got up, I played with Dad and Mom and we all took a walk.  It was warm.  I have missed the warmer weather and walks.  Especially with Grandma Sheri.  We used to go a few times a week.  Warm weather will bring those back I am sure.  Anyway- when we finished and got home I was all wound up and worn out.  I got laid down for a nap and I tell ya... I slept but it wasn't sound and it wasn't for long.  Like 45 minutes.  Dad got me out of crib and my parents tried to get me happy- but... I was just too tired. So?  I got some special treatment.

Nap.  With mom.  In Dad's cribby.  His crib is soft, luscious, and man do I love it. Mom cuddled me real good and we slept for a long time. I haven't had a special nap like that in months.  I'd take one everyday.  Twice a day even!

The Paper Shredder DeLUXE

My favorite toy is my horse.  But that's really hard for my mom to lug everywhere...bless her heart for trying to.  My favorite transportable toy that is literally ev. ER. EE.where is....PAPER! 
I love to rip it, crunkle it, slobber on it, eat it, roll around on it, hold it up to the light, fold it in to paper airplanes.  Well...okay... I can't fold it into planes yet.  But it's on my "to conquer" list.

So!  When I come over... please have a nice stack of paper.  Old mail will do just fine.  But magazines... magazines are my favorite.  I'll take catalogues also.  I love that shiny glossy paper.

Uh huh. Me likey!



Baby MumMums?  Uh huh.  Me likey.

Sweet Potatoes?  Uh huh.  Me likey!





Carrots/Applesauce?  Uh huh.  Me likey!



Porterhouse Steak?  Uh huh.  Me LIKEY!









To Infinity and Beyond!

This week the Groundhog brought me a new car seat.  What?  The Groundhog didn't bring you anything?  My new car seat is awesome.  I wouldn't even call it a car seat.  I would call it a Comfort-Enhancing-Recliner-with-built-in-Safety-Restraints.  Rolls off the tongue.  This was incredibly needed.  My other one was itty bitty.  For an itty bitty baby.  Not for me.  I'm a big baby.   But I AM still a baby and big or not I want a seat that fits me.  My mom and dad have been squeezing me into my Infant Seat (emphasis on infant) and I have to say... (Grandmas cover your ears)... it would make me cry.  Lots.  The fish was just too big for it's bowl.

But those days are gone.

I am flying first class these days.  Platinum baby!  First of all, it's roomy.  My feet don't hang off the bottom and my head doesn't hang out the top.  Already a big BIG plus.  (Emphasis on big.)  I can grow into this thing.  My mom is hoping it will last longer than six months.  I'm thinking it will.  I'm hoping it will.  I can live in my chair.  Which brings me to the second reason my heart beats for my chair.

My new chair has pillows!  PILLOWS!  I don't even get a pillow in my cribber.  There is a soft cushy pillow for my tushy.  There are pillows for my arms, so I can rest them while I look out the window (I'll hit that in a minute).  And there is a divine pillow that surrounds my entire head.  So I can sleep without a crick in my neck.  Oh, it's beautiful.

And, as I mentioned... I can see out the window.  Before two days ago, I didn't even know there was a window. 
And finally, I get a cup holder.  For my sippy.  I'm not allowed to drink and ride.  But... I'm looking forward to it.
I love it love it love it.
Thank you Groundhog.  I'm very happy.  And cozy.